Changes and Perspective…

Rebecca gave me the password to this site to allow me to jot down my thoughts. The truth is that I am not much of a blogger, I simply do not have the stamina to write continuous entries to keep people coming back, and a semiannual blog post would be pretty boring to the readers. Plus the English language and punctuation baffle me, it is a wonder how I skated through college level English much less high school! I have to admit that this whole situation with Jacob has caught me off guard. When he failed his first 2-3 hearing screenings while in the hospital after delivery I thought nothing of it as the nurses assured us that is was most likely due to fluid in his ears. Then when he went back a week later for a follow up hearing screening and failed I felt the same way. Jake and Rebecca went to the audiologist twice, the first time Jacob needed to sleep through the tests to get a good reading and he was bright eyed and fussy. The second time was last Thursday when we received this latest prognosis. When Rebecca called me after the test I was completely baffled as to what she was telling me. I never allowed myself to think that the earlier tests were nothing more than fluid or simply Jake being fussy. My initial denial was to question the validity of the audiologists test results or maybe its still just fluid, no way could Jake have any issues. When Rebecca called me that day she could barely converse with me as she was so beat up by the news. I was simply in shock and just kind of sat at my desk after our conversation (as I was at the office when she called) and thought, alright what do we have to do now? The only time I got visible upset was when I drove home that day pondering the situation. Is it possible that our son could miss out on the joys that we all associate with hearing? One of my favorite things to do is to sit on the back porch during a thunderstorm and listen to the thunder and rain beat down, will Jake miss out on this? I am an avid hunter and can not wait until Jake gets old enough to join me, will he ever get to hear that Buck rubbing against a tree in the brush or perhaps a dove cooing in a distance? More importantly will he be able to react to the dangers that sound alerts you to like a police/ambulance siren, horn honking, or to go back to the hunting scenario that bear growling behind him. I know the bear scenario is over the top and I am being lighthearted but hey it could happen. The situation that deeply sadden me the most was to think if he can’t hear he might not be able to develop the ability to speak properly. Would this mean the Rebecca and I would miss out on the treasured parent moment of hearing their child say “Dada or Momma” for the first time, might he not be able to speak at all? I must say that the outpouring of support we have received via this blog from family and friends is overwhelming. It is so great to have such a strong support group to get through this. I have gotten many messages to give a unique perspective on the situation and it really helps Rebecca and I cope with the situation. After a day or so of research it appears that with the cochlear implants or perhaps hearing aids Jacob may be able to hear that bear growling at him after all and lead a relatively normal life. We simply will not have much information until we meet with the Ear, Nose, and Throat Doc on November 5th but I can say I am becoming more optimistic as I educate myself to this change. We love you all who have provided words of encouragement; you all mean the world to our family! Vince